Bad heads up poker

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I think I found came across the worst heads up player ever yesterday. Sad thing is, I nearly lost to her. Funny how that works, but it's true. I surely would have destroyed my monitor and anything on my desk had I lost...

It was truly ridiculous. I quickly discovered a few pre-flop constants about her game. One, she never raised preflop. Two, she had to see the flop, regardless of my raise. So depending on my hand, I'd raise anywhere from 2-4 times the big blind, if I chose to raise.

Additionally, she would not bet the flop. However, if she was on a draw or caught a piece of it, she'd call a flop bet. Once again, I sized my bets accordingly. I would, however, always bet at least something on the flop, regardless of how it did or didn't help me. She'd fold if it missed her.

The turn comes, and I check, no matter what. If she is on the board and better than low pair, she bets. If she has a draw and hasn't made her hand she checks. Consequently, I assess my hand relative to the board and her bet, meaning can I beat middle pair or the obvious draw? Do I have the implied odds to go to the river? You'll see what I mean in a second.

River comes. Now here's the kicker... Supposing we build a "big pot." And said big pot is 400 chips (each of us start with 1000 chips). Furthermore, suppose blinds are 10/20 at this time. I bet 20 on the river. If she was on a draw and did not complete, she folds. If she did complete and even has the nut... she only calls.

So, here's the thing... I was taking pot after pot... Knocked her down to about 300 twice. Both times, she hit her hand and doubled up. Blinds went up to 50/100 and either I was going card dead or she was completing her hands. Long story short, I sucked out in order to re-cripple her. And then maybe she figured out what I was doing, because she moved all-in with one of those "but they were suited" hands preflop, which was the first time she raised anything preflop. Nine-three was her hand, actually. She ran into my jacks and another on the flop.

In other news, I was playing a sit n go yesterday afternoon and I made a bigtime Rookie Mistake. I was in the BB with K9s. Flop came ace-eight-eight. I bet 1/2 the pot into the field of six players. One person stays and it was the person to my immediate left (under the gun, for those keeping score). The turn delivers a King. I check, as does he. The river delivers me a nine, giving me three pair. Now here comes the rookie move... wait for it... wait for it... here it comes... I put out a pot sized bet. Now, here it comes. I did this being absolutely certain he had an ace. I was almost certain that he did not have an eight, so I was dealing with his two pair (aces and eights), versus my two pair of kings and nines. As I did this, I realized what the hell I just did. Fortunately, he was fearing I had an eight and he just straight up called me. Too much going on inside this head of mine... That mistake is out of character for me.

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